Emotional Wellness

A New Day Has Dawned

~ debsthoughts

Hold on for One More Day

Beautiful Sunrise

The sky was on fire this morning when I first looked out the window. A new day has dawned. It’s such a blessing to be able to roll over in bed and catch a glimpse of a beautiful sunrise. To see the incredible range of colors early this November day seems harmonious and calm, although I’m having trouble holding on to the feeling. But it is a new day and feelings, both good and bad, are fleeting. They don’t control me. And for that I am grateful. On Saturday, four days after the 2020 election, most networks ‘called’ the election for Biden/Harris. An hour before, one of my daughters reminded us of the Wilson Phillips song, Hold On (for one more day). So my daughters and I listened to the song from our respective homes and it was profound. We only had to wait one more hour for the news we’d hoped for.

The Stock Market is Happy Today

Colorful Clouds

I’d like to think the stock market skyrocketed this morning because of the spectacular sunrise, but I know better. It was more likely triggered by the news from Pfizer this morning that their Covid-19 vaccine is showing positive outcomes. There is also the chance the financial markets are pleased with the election results, but that could be wishful thinking on my part. I personally won’t rest completely until January 20th, 2021, at noon Eastern time. Until then I will continue to hold on for one more day and look for beautiful sunrises and sunsets. Of course, we can all rest assured that someone else will take credit for a great economy, even if it has nothing to do with him. (I prefer not to use his name. If you find that disrespectful, well, you are allowed to have your own fleeting feelings.)

Seventy-Two Days

Only seventy-two days remain until a new day will dawn for a new administration to start the truly difficult job of leading a very broken country in the middle of a pandemic.

Speaking of broken countries, last night we watched the movie, The Trial of the Chicago 7. For those who are old enough to recall the violence at the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago, these were some difficult times for our country. There was certainly a Dejavu aspect of watching this movie. What goes around comes around. Hold on for one more day. Because there’s nothing new under the sun. Although, 1968 offered plenty of turmoil, at least there wasn’t also a pandemic to deal with.

Speaking of Pandemics

Sunset

Covid-19 has taken its toll on far too many humans. In my region numbers are skyrocketing. While one close friend tested negative yesterday, another friend lost his father today. These are trying times indeed.

Hold on to that hope one more day. If you miss the sunrise, as I do on most days, watch for the sunset. Sometimes it’s worth stopping what you’re doing, forget the schedule, get outside and go see and simply stare at something astounding, like the sky changing colors.

For most of us a new day will dawn tomorrow. Let’s hold on for one more day if we are able. Let’s hold on to the best of the fleeting feelings, like joy and love. Allow the rest to fall away – which may require some conscious inhaling and exhaling. Breathe in, breathe out, repeat.

3 Simple Breathing Techniques for ‘Weathering the Storm’

~ debsthoughts

A few days ago I wrote 5 Steps to BEing Calm. In it I emphasized the importance of practicing meditation as a method for stress reduction. Meditation is simply being still for a period of time while focusing on one’s breath. What is the point of that? Isn’t breathing kind of . . . normal?

What if I forget to breathe?

I remember a time my elderly father asked me, “Deb, what happens if a person forgets to breathe?” We both laughed at the silliness of the question and I teased him saying he needn’t worry because he would pass out and begin to breath again, if he forgot. As I think back on those days when Dad lived with me, he worried a lot. He worried about dying, about having his daughter care for him, about being a burden. Apparently, he even worried about breathing.

Breathing: It’s good for our health

Worry is something I’m familiar with. I often say I come from a long line of worriers. The thing about habitual worriers is we aren’t consciously aware of our breathing. We are breathing, of course, but we are not doing the best job of it. I am certain my dad would catch himself either holding his breath or taking shallow quick breaths, perhaps to the point of an anxiety attack, like so many others, including me. Which is probably why he came to me to ask the question about breathing.

So what’s the big deal about breathing? Aren’t we all doing it all the time? We are. However, it’s amazing what we can learn about ourselves if we start paying attention to things like our breath.


3 breathing techniques to ‘weather the storm’:

  1. Awareness: Pay attention to your breath throughout the day. Is your breathing generally shallow? Fast or slow? Of course this will depend on activity level. Becoming aware of how we breath in various circumstances is the very first step. Think about your breathing throughout the day.
  2. Deep Breathing Exercise: Sit down in a comfortable position (commit to 5 minutes). Take a deep breath in through the nose and release it through your mouth with a sigh. Inhale slowly, feeling the breath go in through the nostrils and follow it into your chest, belly, or deeper. Now slowly exhale through the nose, completely and fully, emptying your lungs. Repeat, slowly inhaling deeper, if possible, pause, then exhale slowly and deeply. Pause briefly before inhaling again. Now breath normally, however it feels natural to you. How do you feel? Tense? Nervous? Calm? Silly? There’s no right answer, this is about how you being aware of how you feel.
  3. Counting Breath Exercise: Find a comfortable place to sit quietly (commit to 5 minutes). Close your eyes if you wish. Take a deep breath in through the nose and release it with an open mouth audible sigh. Now do it again. Close your eyes and breathe normally – inhale, exhale, however it feels natural to you for a few breaths. gradually inhale through the nose deeper, feel the breath entering the nostrils, flowing into the throat and deeper, into your belly if that feels comfortable. Exhale slowly and purposely through the nose. Next inhale while counting 1, 2, 3, pause. Exhale for a count of 3. Continue this for five or six additional breaths. Then allow yourself to breath normally and evaluate how you feel.

These techniques are simple and easy. While breathing is something we all do all the time, without thinking, I believe if we put some thought and focus into practicing and paying attention, it can help us to weather any storm life deals us.

May we all breathe easier – with practice.

Indian Summer: a Christmas Letter

~ debsthoughts

The calendar tells me it is indeed December, even though my brain cannot comprehend how fast the year has gone. We are content with the warmish temperatures lately – highs in the 40s – in our corner of Michigan. It’s like an Indian summer around here, finally. By the way, I discovered Indian summer has two meanings:

  1. a period of unusually dry, warm weather occurring in late autumn.
  2. a period of happiness or success occurring late in life.

As I write this we are mere minutes away from waving good-bye to autumn and welcoming (with mostly open arms) the official start of winter. The second definition of Indian summer reminds me that periods of happiness and success are something to be cherished. The trick is what we do with those moments in between.

We are having a lot of fun living this farm adventure. I’ve taken to sharing pictures of our animals on social media because they’re funny creatures – all of them. There’s a lot we can learn from watching animal behavior, whether in nature or in our back yards. The way they interact with each other and with us can be comical and it can be frightening too.

That ‘pecking order’ thing – it’s real, and not just with chickens. Rusty, the cat, is in charge of the other cats. Dixie, (our Black Beauty) is the boss of Zima. Lily, the lamb, is mostly in charge of her three siblings. While Rika, the wonder dog, is the boss of all the animals except the young rooster (who is currently undergoing ‘training’ to become a gentlemen, or else). It’s fascinating how they figure out their place in the flock or herd and they never worry about tomorrow. Animals know how to live in the moment.

To the casual observer it may appear to be complete peace on earth over here, but we know better – there is conflict and chaos all around us. You probably know what I mean.

Caring for livestock brings us silly moments of happiness and occasional feelings of success. I’ll take it.  When all are fed and watered, we do feel successful. But a kink in the hose or an unexpected rooster attack can ruin the day if we let it. Which means we must grab hold of, and be thankful for, all those little Indian summer moments. Those moments in between though, we should really practice a little gratitude for them too. Without them we might take for granted the lovely Indian summer moments.

It’s nice when the grandkids visit because they all want to help with chores. Although Owen is 12 and more interested in driving the Kawasaki Mule than gathering eggs. Olivia is 9 and leaps, pirouettes, and splits her way from point A to point B. Morgan is also 9 and does back-bends, and flip-overs across the yard, while dribbling a basketball. Ella is 6 and is happy as can be to kick a soccer ball everywhere she goes. And Charlotte is 2 and . . . well, she tries ALL the above with gusto (except for the driving part, of course).

Come to think of it they don’t really help that much with chores on their visits, but those visits are definitely part of our Indian summer moments.

May all your moments be filled with love and joy and gratitude.

5 Steps to BEing Calm

~ debsthoughts ~ 2 Comments

For many of us the daily challenges we face can feel like too much to handle on some days. Modern medicine tells us we must learn to reduce the stress in our lives. We’re told to just calm down, relax, chill! If you’re like me those suggestions are not helpful. So how do we start?

I recently started a daily practice of meditating for ten minutes. Only ten minutes, y’all! And it’s helping my overall emotional and physical well-being. It may seem daunting to BEgin but that’s all it takes. And in the end, learning to just BE is one of the most important things we can do for self-care.

Here are my 5 steps to BEing calm:

  1. BEgin today. Don’t wait any longer. There’s no right or wrong way to meditate. It’s basically sitting still and breathing. You are already breathing so now all you have to do is sit still and just BE for ten minutes. It can be anywhere, preferably where you can BE alone but even if you can’t, you can still BE still and breathe, anywhere. Sitting in a chair, on the floor, with legs crossed or straight out in front, are all perfectly fine. BE comfortable.
  2. Use a phone app if you can. I am using one called Calm and another called HeadSpace. I tried both with free trials and ended up purchasing a subscription to each. These are great tools to help us get started because they guide us through the ten minutes, reminding us to focus on our breath and walk us through relaxing and just BEing. These apps also have tools for helping us sleep with relaxing sounds in the background. You don’t NEED an app to meditate but I have found it excellent for a beginner like me. 
  3. Light a candle or incense if you are so inclined. These are not mandatory but I find it helpful to set the mood relaxation relaxation.
  4. Set reminders to practice at whatever time of day works best for you. Experts say first thing in the morning is best, but I grab my ten minutes when it’s convenient for me – usually in the middle of the day. 
  5. BEgin. There’s no better time than now. The benefits of this short daily practice are immense and cannot be denied. Just ten minutes a day of BEing still, calming the mind, and breathing deeply with awareness of the breath, can reap huge health benefits both physically and emotionally. Now keep it up because before long this new habit will be something you look forward to every single day.

Harmony at Our Fingertips

~ debsthoughts

If you’re like me you may be asking (or screaming to no one in particular), “What is happening?” The division, the spewing of hateful words back and forth, the widening tribal gap, the alternative reality that our president lives in, the openly outright lies and gas-lighting – it’s too much to take some days. But the ugliness that happened because of a man named Kavanaugh, that has sent many women (in particular) spiraling into a deep sadness and grief, or for many more, spurred an enraged feeling of knowing enough is enough. 

Thankfully harmony is at our fingertips. For some of us it is found in prayer, in meditation or on the yoga mat. Harmony opens up to us when we seek it. I needed this reminder this week. Continue reading →

Petals Dropping, Seeds Ripening

Sunflower
~ debsthoughts

Seeking inspiration today I found it in this sunflower. Some may see it as all used up – petals lost, growth complete, all done, and so sad. But deep inside are seeds preparing for their journey to become something new again. The possibility of new life is within each seed and one sunflower can have 2,000 seeds! So. Much. Potential. Continue reading →

The Dandelion Knows

Dandelion
~ debsthoughts

Do you have trouble letting go of things? Are you having trouble letting go of the insane political climate? Letting go of choices you made long ago? Do you remember something you wish you’d done differently or at least wonder, what if?

Dandelions totally get it. A perfectly adorable yellow flower turns into a seed pod that has no intention of holding on to those hundreds of seeds. It knows how to let go.

Continue reading →

Unmade Bed

unmade bed
~ debsthoughts

Sometimes I don’t make the bed. I don’t see the point in making it pretty every darned day for literally no one to see. Many days I don’t even see it myself until I pull the covers down to climb back into it.

Man I miss this bedroom. It’s my old bedroom from my last house and it was spacious, soothing, quiet, with just the right amount of natural light coming in. I am reminded by this picture of many years where my hubby traveled and I slept alone in this big bed. Making it was simple – pull up the covers on my side and walk away. Continue reading →

Beauty All Around

purple tulip
~ debsthoughts

Beauty is everywhere if we will only notice it. Some days it’s harder than others to see it.

Yesterday the theme of my blog post was the word indivisible and I thought about the Pledge of Allegiance and the meaning behind it. I said I didn’t have a solution for this problem our country is facing – the divide, the dissent, the anger between individuals and lawmakers. Actually I do.  Continue reading →

No Lie

Writing Pen
~ debsthoughts

There’s been a lot of talk lately about liars. So much in fact, that new phrases have become popular and acceptable, like fake news and alternative facts. People are arguing that ‘all politicians lie,’ as though, if true, it somehow makes it acceptable which causes one to ask, does truth-telling matter? I suppose a blog called The Other Side of Denial should at least address the dilemma.

Interestingly, the basic definition of denial is: the action of declaring something to be untrue.

Well, holy moly, this blog is referencing the act of lying! I’ve been living in denial about my blog about living in denial. No lie. Continue reading →