Depression–it rears its ugly head when you least expect it. I will not refer to it as something I suffer from/with. I prefer to say it is my dirty little secret which I cannot quite manage to be done with (once and for all) after years of keeping company with it. I try to portray myself as one who has everything under control always. There are days however, when that is easier said than done. Even when I don’t feel it, I have a Happy Face + Attitude (HFA) that I tap into—on most days. Periodically the dreaded depression sets in deeper than I’d like. Those are the days I try to hide from the world until I can get my HFA back on track, but this week it was out of my reach. I picked up the phone when it rang and my daughter was on the other end asking what I wanted to do for my birthday. Poor thing, I do feel bad for her.

Nothing. Nothing at all. I hate my life. I want to run away. I want change. I wish I lived on a farm, was my sad, forlorn, woe-is-me response.

She had to hang up pretty quickly after that. I don’t blame her. I’ll talk to you Saturday, she said. Continue reading →